A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

L

Loose Impediments – Natural and legally movable objects that interfere with play, such as dazed or disoriented reptiles or mammals, stunned birds, pulverized stones, flattened bushes, uprooted shrubs, severed branches and felled trees.

Lost Ball – An opponent’s missing ball after 90 seconds of searching, or one of your own after 20 minutes.

Low Side – The side of a hole on a sloping green that gravity tends to send a ball away from. Canny golfers always aim for the “high side” of the hole or lay the flagstick along the edge of the cup and putt toward this “safe side.”

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May 16

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

S

Sand Trap – A deep depression filled with sand filled with golfers in a deep depression.

Sclaff – Onomatopoetic Scottish word for a flubbed shot in which the ground is contacted before the ball is hit. The game’s Celtic inventors had plenty of time to develop a rich vocabulary for golfing mishaps, such as a ball topped lightly into the water (firkel), a ball hit a short distance through dense grass (gleff), straight into the air (pooth), into the woods (slessgrack), into rocks (lofonnock) and into other players (yebastard).

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May 12

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

R

Relaxation – In golf, perhaps more than in any other game, relaxation is essential. Any tension in a player’s body is instantly transferred to the swing or the putting motion, and the results are invariably disastrous. Even a slightly taut muscle can misdirect the path of the clubhead, sending an expensive ball into the water. An unnecessarily stiffened joint can lead to the kind of jarring, ground-hitting stroke that causes cumulative shaft-related damage to costly clubs and can lead to possible bone injury as well. And an overly rigid grip could, paradoxically, cause a muscular twitch that might allow the club to slip from the fingers during the follow-through, perhaps maiming another player and triggering a multimillion-dollar lawsuit. So for goodness sake, try to relax!

Rim – The edge of the hole. A ball that goes around the cup without falling in is said to have rimmed the hole, or to have ringed, skirted, lipped, lapped or looped it. It may also be said to have curled, circled or rolled around it, or to have done a tour, a circuit, a round trip, an orbit or a button hook. There are one or two terms for a ball actually going into a cup, but they are used so seldom that it seems like a waste of space to include them here.

Rough – Unmown, naturally wild area bordering the fairway and sometimes separating the fairway from the tee. There are three basic types of rough: low rough, a narrow strip of 6-inch-high grass where the ball may be easily playable; high or deep rough, where the ball may be lost and, even if found, may be obstructed or otherwise unplayable; and dark rough, where the ball may be eaten or stolen and used as an object of worship by primitive peoples.

Round – Eighteen holes of golf, played in their proper sequence, followed by one or more additional rounds at the 19th hole.

Rub of the Green – A phrase used in the rules of golf to describe a situation in which the flight of a ball is interrupted by anything other than another player in the match or his or her caddy or equipment. In such cases the match is continued and the ball is played from wherever it lands unless “whatever accidentally stopped or deflected the ball rattles, hisses, spits, growls or snarls; or stings, bites or drools; or makes menacing gestures or motions, or circles or makes ready to pounce; or has claws, fangs, a gun, a badge or a lawyer.”

Rules – As currently constituted, the rules of golf consist of 34 basic regulations. The present record for breaking them in a single 18-hole round is an astonishing 31, with 69 penalty strokes, set in 1983 by H.B. Nichols at Bluster Bluffs C.C. in Smug Harbor, Long Island.

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May 08

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

Q

Quoits – Along with curling, racing in luges and tossing the caber, the only game other than golf that has been voted Most Pointless Athletic Pursuit of the Decade more than three times by the editors of Stupid Sports Magazine.

R

R & A – The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews, founded in 1754 and the oldest golf club in existence. As such, it holds many “firsts” in the game of golf: first accusation of an altered scorecard (1754); first disqualification for use of improper equipment (1754); first caddy fired for accepting a bribe (1754); first expulsion for throwing clubs (1754); first properly replaced divot (1897); first twosome permitted to play through (1924); first totally restored bunker surface following the play of a sand shot (1946); first completely honest handicap claim (1957); and first lost ball recovered by a following golfer and returned to its rightful owner (1984).

Reading the Green – Since greens are rarely level and their surfaces vary in smoothness or “speed” depending on how moist the grass is and how recently it was cut, golfers must examine them closely to determine which way and how far the ball will roll. Even the “friendliest”- looking green will have some tricks up its sleeve, and many are downright ornery. Thus the “message” of any given green, as read by the well-trained eye of a seasoned player, can range from “Aim a little to the left” or “Look out” – anything more than a light tap will run right by the hole” to “The best thing you can do with that putter is make into a decorative lamp base” or “You’ll be lucky to four-putt, and by the way, those are absolutely the ugliest pants I have ever seen.”

Recovery Shot – Any shot whose primary purpose is to get the ball out of a hazard or away from an obstacle and back into playable position on the fairway. The most important thing to remember when playing recovery shots is not to be greedy. It’s far easier to forget to include in your score a single short shot that put the ball into the middle of the fairway than to try to get away without counting a half-dozen duffs, caroms or ricochets.

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May 04

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

P

Pro – Sensible person who believes that individuals who spend time playing golf professionally are no different from those who engage in some other similarly demanding occupation such as strip mining or demolition work and that, far from paying for the privilege, they should actually receive financial compensation for their labors.

Pro Shop – Challenging hazard located just before the first tee at most country clubs. The trick to getting out in under $10 (about par for the course) is concentration. Don’t be distracted by the leather golf bags and matched club sets, the radical new putter designs, the smooth gloves, the shiny shoes, and the sporty golfing attire. Keep your head down and your eyes on the balls and tees. Tell yourself that your present clubs aren’t old – they’re classics. Every item of apparel you’re wearing brings you luck. Your shoes are perfectly broken in. Your hat has character. Your glove…Forget your glove. Take a firm stance and dig in your heels. Get a good grip on your wallet. Take it out in a fast, sweeping motion and lightly flip a few crisp bills onto the counter. Always use cash: “charging” is one of the hardest golf habits to break, and those few little pen strokes can end up costing you plenty. Pick up your purchase with a quick snap of the wrist, then turn and stride confidently for the tee. You may shoot 100 today, but you’re way, way ahead of the game!

Pull – To hit a shot straight but to the left of the intended target.

Push – To hit a shot straight but to the right of the intended target.

Putt – To hit a shot straight but to the left, the right, beyond, short of, over or around the intended target.

Putter – Specialized club used on the green. The putter differs from the other golf clubs in the bag in that it always produces shots that roll forward a few feet and stop.

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Apr 30

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

P

Pitch – An approach shot made with a short iron. There are four basic kinds of pitch shot: one in which the ball is given top spin to let it run along the green toward the cup (pitch-and-run); one in which it is given backspin to make it “sit down” and stop next to the cup (pitch-and-stop); one in which it is shanked into a water hazard or dense undergrowth (pitch-and-search or pitch-and-destroy); and one in which it is driven directly into the ground with a half-top (pitch-and-moan).

Play It as It Lies – One of the two fundamental dictates of golf. The other one is “Wear It if It Clashes.”

Playing Through – A display of courtesy on the course in which a group of golfers who have stopped to search for lost balls conclude that they are causing delay and, anxious to spare the group behind them several minutes of inactivity on the tee, stand aside and invite that group to hit their drives so they will be able to profitably use the period before they can resume play in a time-consuming hunt for their own lost balls.

Practice Green – A putting area near the clubhouse where players can try out chips, pitches and putts. It is usually located near the 19th hole so players can also work on their nips, drafts and snorts.

Practice Tee – The place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice.

Priority on the Course – In determining the order of play, the following rules should be applied:

Matches which, when Mulligans, take-overs and practice shots are included, are playing 10, 12 or 14 balls should give way to matches playing 6 or 8 balls.
A match that is playing the course out of sequence by cutting across from the green of one hole to the tee of a much later hole is entitled to pass a match that sneaked onto the course without paying.
Any match that has a player in it posing as a doctor who is late for a vital operation takes precedence over a match with a player pretending to be a judge overdue at key trial.
Single players have no standing and must give way to a match consisting of two, three or four golfers unless, through voice changes and variations in stance and gesture, they can convincingly fake the symptoms of a multiple personality disorder.

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Apr 26

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

P

Par – Score achieved by a golfer who has only a few great shots on an entire round but somehow managed to hit them all on the same hole.

Partner – Match play team member who holes out from a bunker to score a birdie on a hole you were about to win with a tap-in for a par, then putts out for a double bogey on a whole where you lie six and your ball is 40 feet from the cup.

Penalty – One or more strokes added to a golfer’s score for play in contravention of the rules. Players are penalized a single stroke for simple infractions, such as Lost Ball, Ball Out of Bounds and Unplayable Ball. More serious breaches, like Playing Wrong Ball and Stopping or Deflecting Own Ball, carry a penalty of two strokes. The most severe violations, for which penalties ranging from three to five strokes are assessed, include: Pocketing Opponent’s Lost Ball, Kicking Opponent’s Ball Out of Bounds, Feeding Opponent’s Ball to a Dog, and Rendering Opponent’s Ball Unplayable by Running Over It with an Electric Golf Cart.

Pin – Familiar term for the flagstick. A ball that lands on the green even with the hole but off to one side is “pin high.” A ball that lands right next to the hole, leaving a very short putt, is “stiff to the pin.” Such putts are almost always conceded, but some players insist on putting them anyway. These players are called “pinheads.”

Pin Placement – The location of the hole in each green is changed regularly to distribute wear evenly over the grass surface and to create an additional challenge to golfers familiar with the course. And, as golfers whose balls mysteriously land in a pond or bunker they’ve successfully avoided for months can attest, the position of key sand traps and water hazards is also periodically shifted and the astronomical cost of operating heavy earthmoving equipment at night and in secret explains the high greens fees charged at most golf courses.

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Apr 22

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

O

Obstruction – Golfers may move their balls away from or remove any artificial obstacles not part of the course such as torn and crushed hats and other discarded articles of clothing; chewed scorecards; ripped instruction books; halved golf balls; discarded golf clubs; demolished handcarts; and overturned and burning electric carts.

Official Records – The history of golf is filled with the memorable accomplishments of the game’s stars, but, alas, the more humble achievements of less skilled players often go unsung. The brief list below is an attempt to rectify this unfortunate state of affairs:

SHORTEST MISSED PUTT: .83 inch, Randall P. Huggins, 9th Green, Gossiping Pines C.C., Bedham, Mass., 1977. LONGEST SUSTAINED SCREAM: 39 seconds, Liz Yownes, 8th tee, Tallulah Lake C.C., Los Nachos, Calif., 1982 SHARPEST SHAFT BEND IN ONE MOTION: 314, A. McNaith, 14th hole, Napping River C.C., Necco, Ont., 1968 FARTHEST THROWN CLUB: 86.4 yards, B. Bob Binger, windmill hole, Tumbleweed Putt ‘n’ Sup, Zeno, Tex., 1974

One-putt – To send the ball into the hole with one stroke of a putter after taking 11 shots to reach the green.

Open – A tournament that is open to all players, amateur or professional, who can qualify. Big tournaments like the British and U.S. Opens are the goal of any talented golfer, but it is worth remembering that whereas in, say, tennis only 50 percent of the players in the men’s singles final will lose, in golf more than 98 percent of the players in the final round of a tournament invariably fail to win.

Out of Bounds – A ball lies out of bounds and may not be played if the whole of its circumference is beyond the line marked by the stakes that form the golf course boundary. Many golfers feel, however, that a ball which appears to be out of bounds should, considering the curvature of the earth, be more properly regarded as in bounds since it lies a good 24,900 miles inside the out-of-bounds line.

Overclubbing & Underclubbing – Using clubs that hit the ball over your target (“too much club”) or short of it (“too little club”) is a common mistake made by many players. You can overcome this error by understanding what each club can do, and meanwhile you can compensate by overlooking and undercounting, and, if caddies are present, by overtipping with an understanding.

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Apr 18

A Golfer’s Dictionary

By admin

M

Mark – Any small object, such as a coin or tee, placed directly behind a ball to indicate a point on the green that is 5 inches farther from the hole than the spot where the ball will be replaced.

Match Play – Golfing competition whose outcome is determined by calculating which team or individual had the lowest score on the most holes.

Medal Play – Golfing competition whose outcome is determined by calculating which player had the lowest overall score for 18 holes.

Melee Play – Golfing competition whose outcome is determined by a fistfight on the 18th green.

Mixed Foursome – A quartet of golfers composed of two separate grounds for divorce. Out of bounds are included as well, the grand total is the Actual Score. This number, when adjusted upward to reflect all gimme putts, becomes the Correct Score. When all the strokes made in sand traps and around obstructions are tacked on, this larger sum is the Absolute, Final, Honest-to-Goodness Score, which is usually only a half-dozen or so strokes lower than the total number of shots the player in fact made.

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